First darkness. Than light. My eyes began to open as a single tear fell from my face. Standing in the middle of single road with nowhere to go but forward. I had envisioned this place once before. I wasn’t lost. I wasn’t unsure. Flashbacks of memories began to speed through my mind as the road ahead lead me into the light of heaven. For in that very moment, I saw my struggles and my weaknesses. I saw the dreams that God had given me that I never believed in. I saw the pain in the hearts of every man, woman & child I ever knew throughout my life and how my life could have touched there’s had I only reached out.
Regrets began to overtake my body as I had no control. Lost and consumed with worry, doubt and grief I realized how much I had failed. But than as my soul came into the light, I began to experience an unimaginable peace wash over me that I could never describe. Complete surrender. Complete love. Complete warmth. I had been cleansed and made whole. I had fallen to my knees. I was home. It was in that moment that I met Jesus. He knelt beside me, revealing to me what my life had truly been about. The answers had finally been revealed. A lifetime of questioning God’s intentions had finally ended and I hated myself for it. All I could say was that I was sorry for not trusting in him enough. And I thanked him for loving me! As Jesus helped stand me up, he gave me a hug and told me to continue walking on my path. I would know what to do. I was confused. I thought I had died. But all of sudden I awoke and found myself inside my bedroom wondering if my time with Jesus had only been a dream. But I knew it wasn’t. It was an answer to a question I had been asking myself longer than I could remember. What was my purpose? Jesus had shown me that to fulfill my purpose I would have to make change in my life, so that is exactly what I decided I’m going to do.
As Men, Women and Children of this World, we will never understand the reasons why certain things happen in our lives. I can’t help you answer the question of why it seems so many bad things happen to good people. I don’t pretend that it doesn’t bother me. I am Sinner. I fail. Sometimes I question God’s intentions. I can’t figure it out. But what I am beginning to understand is that it is not our job to question God. We are called to serve him. He gives us the freedom to accept his love. God doesn’t need you, he’s God. He doesn’t need anything. But he does want you. It’s a free gift. It’s okay you can take it. But I know how difficult it can be to love something or have a relationship with someone when you can’t even see. But that’s the great thing about faith. The more you believe, the more you see.